Teardrops on my guitar
by BeautyWillRiseFromAllDarkness
Summary: I know you love her, but have you ever thought of someone else? Have you ever thought of me? Have you ever thought that you hold my heart? Songfic.


**I don't own anything. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. Oh and when you finish reading the story, you could review it. If you want. That'd be real cool of you if you did. And I'd give you a chicken. Not that I'm bribing you or anything...;)**

"Hey, James, I found us a compartment."  
"Didn't I tell you Lily? I'm sitting with Miranda today."  
"Oh..."

_James looks at me_  
_I fake a smile so he won't see_

"That's fine with you, right?"  
_Fine? Why would that be fine, James? We've sat together on the train ever since first year.  
_"Of course, James. Go, have fun! I'll see you at the feast!"  
"Okay, are you sure, I know it's kinda like our tradition..."

_What I want, what I need_  
_And everything that we should be_

_It is our tradition and you should stay. Stay with me instead of going to your girlfriend. Don't you know that your everything I want?_  
"Yeah, I'm sure. She's your girlfriend, you should go."

_I'll bet she's beautiful_  
_That girl he talks about_

"So, James, when am I going to meet your infamous girlfriend." I ask as we're sitting down for the feast.  
"I don't know, I think she's in her dorm, whenever she comes down, I guess." He answers, absentmindedly.  
"Wait! There she is! Hey, Miranda over here!" I roll my eyes and he starts jumping up and down like a manic. I am almost enjoying myself until I saw James kissing her. "Uh, I have to go finish, uh, homework, bye!" I race out of there as fast as I can. Miranda really was beautiful, just like he said.

_And she's got everything_  
_That I've had to live without_

She had blond hair and curves. She was toned up from Quidditch. She had these "beautiful blue eyes" as James says, that he can just "lose himself in". She was levelheaded and could see the goodness in everyone. She was perfect and me? Well, I had unmanageable red hair, a skinny frame, ugly green eyes, and a horrible temper. I could see how I would never even begin to compare to her.

_James talks to me_  
_I laugh, 'cause it's so just funny_

"And then Sirius, Sirius fell into the lake!" James could hardly tell the story from laughter and I was already doubled over laughing. Miranda was sitting there like a perfect lady, laughing only to be polite. Seeing her look so perfect made me realize how stupid I must have looked.

___That I can't even see anyone_  
_When he's with me_

"Hey, James!" I exclaim, happily, as I pass him in the hall. "Wha, oh, hey, Lils. Listen, have you seen Miranda anywhere?" My bubbly mood faded.  
"Oh, uh, Miranda? No, haven't seen her in a while." _Haven't seen anyone since I first saw you this morning._

_He says he's so in love_  
_He's finally got it right_

"Aw, well, I'll find her on my own, then. Earlier today I realized that I love her, and now that I've realized it, I've just gotta tell her! She's just so perfect, so right, I know she's the one! But, I gotta go, bye!"  
"Bye..." My whispered goodbye fades into the walls as he turns to go. Somehow, I knew that she wasn't the one, but lately, I'd been thinking I wasn't either.

_I wonder if he knows  
He's all I think about at night_

I'm lying in my bed, gazing at the stars, wondering how he could make such a big mistake.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do_

I'm sitting in my dorm during a free period. I'm super depressed because James and Miranda are already making plans for the future. I remember when James and I did that. Apparently, James doesn't see me in his future.

_James walks by me_  
_Can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly_  
_The kind of flawless I wish I could be_

"No, no, you've gotta chop the mint sprigs! You can't just throw them in, you'll ruin the potion!" I corrected James, while laughing at him for not reading the instructions. James was laughing with me then suddenly stopped and took my face in his hands. "Thanks for the help," He breathed near my ear. My heart almost stopped, then he laughed again, and our moment was over.

_She better hold him tight_  
_Give him all her love_  
_Look in those beautiful eyes_  
_And know she's lucky_

If I was more like her, would he love me? If I was perfect, would he notice me? If I was in her shoes, would I notice him? When I first told Alice that I liked James she said that "I could have any guy in the school and I choose the unavailable one?", but that's not true. No guy would ever want to go out with me because I have the worlds biggest temper. And I'm too goody-goody. I don't ever break the rules, what kind of guys wants that? What kind of guy wants me?

_So I'll drive home alone  
As I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down  
And maybe get some sleep tonight_

"So, Lily, you know how we were going to go to the Three Broomsticks together during the next Hogsmeage weekend?' James asked me as we walked down the hall. "Yeah?" I reply tentatively. "Well, change in plans. You see, Miranda wants to go to Madame Puddifoots..."  
"But I thought you hated that place?"  
"Yeah, but Miranda loves it, and if it makes her happy, it makes me happy."  
"Oh...Well, don't worry about it, I'll just find someone else to go with!" _Or maybe I'll just stay home and cry_.

_'Cause he's the reason for  
The teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me  
To break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do_

"You sure you're okay with staying here alone?" It was the Hogsmeage weekend and I had found no one to go with. James and Miranda were just getting ready to leave and James felt bad that I was staying here alone. "Yeah, of course! I'll just do homework or something. I didn't really want to go anyway..." _Okay, that wasn't a complete lie. I stopped wanting to go when you canceled on me._  
"Are you sure? Cause I could stay here with you instead, if you like?"  
"No, that's okay, go have fun! Bring me back some chocolate from Honeydukes, okay?"  
"Sure, well go to go, bye!"  
"Bye, James."

_He's the time taken up_  
_But there's never enough_  
_And he's all the I need to fall into_

__"Oh and it was great! we stopped at Honeydukes and took turns finding the most insane candy in the store and feeding it to each other! And the I bought her this big chocolate bar-oh shoot! I didn't get you any chocolate! I'm so sorry!"  
"James! It's fine, it's okay!" I said laughing as he apologized so earnestly, it was actually quite endearing.  
"So, what did you do this whole time?"  
"Nothing really, just thought about things..."  
"Like?"  
"Nothing you'd be interested in, just girl stuff"  
"Ew, gross. Well, okay then, I'll see you later, I'm meeting Miranda by the lake." He turned to leave._There are so many things I want to say. So many things I wish I had said. But The moments gone __and I'll never get the chance. I know you love her, but have you ever thought of someone else? Have you ever thought of me? Have you ever thought that you hold my heart? _

_James looks at me  
I fake a smile so he won't see_

"Wait, James!" I called after him. _Time to tell him the truth. I just had to get it out in the open._ _I had to let him know I loved him. If I didn't, I'd regret it for the rest of my life._  
"Yeah?" He answered.  
"I..."  
"Spit it out! What is it?"  
"Never mind. It's nothing."


End file.
